Ch-ch-ch-ch-CHANGES!

We seem to be going through a time of change at our house!

• Of course, there is the potty training change (hallelujah!).

• There is a baby on its way in the next two weeks.

• Jake starts school (his BYU MA) semester on Monday (only one left after this!). And after a long summer of stress and research, he miraculously has a lead on a Thesis now.

• He starts his new internship with the BYU Magazine today.

• I was released from my calling as first counselor in the Relief Society presidency on Sunday, and was told that I would get a few weeks off because of the baby. I'll miss the associations, but it is a heavy weight lifted off of my shoulders right now and I can't say that I'm not relieved! I've been there almost three years and was put in the second week we moved into the ward, so I'll be excited to see what new adventure is in store for me!

So we're keeping busy and happy with all of the changes coming our way right now. I keep thinking about a scripture from the Apostle Paul that seems to fit my life:


Philippians 3

13 ...this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

 14 I ^apress toward the mark for the ^bprize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

I don't think he means we should truly forget the past, but that we shouldn't be content living in it. When it is time to move on to bigger and better things (which are usually scary, too, because of the unknown) it is okay to let the former things go. To not hold on to "the good ol' days" but throw ourselves completely into our new future.

I'm always sad to say goodbye to the things I'm leaving behind. I miss the people. The comfortability. The ease, sometimes. For example, when I think of having another child, I sometimes find myself feeling sad that it won't be just Grant anymore. I don't know why, maybe because it means he's growing up. Maybe because I know it will change our relationship. Maybe because I know it will be exponentially more difficult. I like how things are now! We're used to the way life is and we know what to expect every day.

However, if I lived my entire life only doing the things that I know and understand and feel comfortable doing, I sure wouldn't have auditioned for a single play or musical in my life. I wouldn't have moved away from home and gone to college. I wouldn't have taught Seminary. I wouldn't have moved to Utah. I wouldn't have gotten married. I wouldn't have had a baby. I wouldn't have tried my hand at teaching Institute or EFY. The list goes on and on. 

It is when I've been pushed to the edge of the light and a few steps into the darkness, as Harold B. Lee put it, that I've made every single significant decision in my life. And although things keep getting harder in many ways, they just keep getting better and better! So why would I ever want to waste precious time wishing I could be back where I was before?

As I walked across BYU's campus a few weeks ago I found myself in a moment of nostalgia remembering the joys and thrills of college life (I know, I know, hindsight is 20/20). It wasn't easy, but it was very exciting and full of energy. I started to feel a sense of longing for those days. Then almost immediately I was reminded that many of those people I was noticing were probably noticing me, pregnant and walking with my toddler, and wishing they could be me. Not stressing about school or wondering if they would ever find the love of their life, or being able to raise a family. I know I wanted those things when I was in college.

So I guess what I'm saying is that we need to consciously "find joy in the journey--now." (Pres. Thomas S. Monson, CR, Oct. 2008)

The changes brought my way haven't always been fun or enjoyable, but looking back I can always see how they have guided, molded, and directed me to the best path for me and my life. I wouldn't have it any other way!