What I Learned from Ordain Women (and it has nothing to do with priesthood)

*NOTE: I understand that the Ordain Women organization doesn't agree with me on the doctrine of the priesthood or what constitutes God's plan. This essay was not intended to speak for or against them. It isn’t meant to be a diatribe on why I feel their philosophies are misguided; it has been a long, soul-searching journey to help me to eliminate frustrations or judgments and replace those with empathy. It has been my way of finding a personal application within a very real struggle experienced by members of my church.*

During the past year an organization called "Ordain Women" has been in the forefront of LDS news. It is headed by women who, as I understand it, desire to receive the priesthood in order to be equal to men in their opportunities for growth and service in the Church. They have steadily grown in numbers and public profile. They have become increasingly vocal in relation to, at times considered oppositional toward, counsel and teachings from Church leaders both  local and general. The founder, Kate Kelly, was excommunicated in June 2014.

Recent General Conferences have been replete with messages about women and the priesthood, confirming that women are as entitled to every blessing and power from the priesthood that men are. Elder Dallin H. Oaks even went so far as to say that women exercise its authority every time they act in callings or assignments under priesthood direction. The holding of keys and offices (enabling the abilities to direct, preside and officiate, for example) are the notable differences, with only men being able to do so. The pattern was set by Jesus Christ Himself. We have been instructed that while gender equality is important to God, sameness isn't. Our essential roles as men and women are different.[i]

The Lesson I'm (Re)Learning Through the Ordain Women Movement

I believe there is a general underlying principle here that every believer in God eventually has to come to terms with, regardless of age, gender, calling, location, or station in life.

It is related to the following idea, frequently stated by President David O. McKay: “It is better to be trusted than to be loved.”[ii]

What the lesson is NOT is about the significance of my pleadings with God: Father, don't you love me? Don't you trust me? Give me a chance to prove myself to You.

The more imperative questions are from God to me: Chelsea, do you love Me? Do you trust Me? Give Me a chance to prove My plan for you.

Essentially, the lesson is this:

Do I trust God’s will for my life?

Having God trust me is an honor for which I constantly strive to be worthy. However, finding strength to trust Him in all things is the quest of a lifetime—one of the foundational purposes of this faith-not-sight-centered-life we call mortal probation.

Examples of the Need to Trust God Instead of Insisting on Being Trusted

A woman desiring the priesthood isn't necessarily wicked or selfish or power-hungry. She might see in priesthood holders around her a greater opportunity, importance, or ability to serve in God's kingdom than she believes she now has. She wants to do and be more than she feels she is right now.

But her underlying struggle is not unique in the Church. Consider these examples:

A barren woman (or, more appropriately, couple) desiring children sees other women living that dream. She sees in them an ability to love and progress and serve in ways she cannot in mortality. She wants to do and be more than she feels she is right now.

A single member of the Church, whether due to lack of opportunity, same-gender attraction, divorce, or other circumstance, desires eternal companionship. He or she looks longingly at the privileged married couples in his or her sphere, and sees in them a greater capacity for happiness, progression, and ability to serve in God's kingdom. He or she wants to do and be more than he or she feels is possible under the circumstances of singlehood.

The same principle applies to those struggling financially; to stay-at-home mothers and mothers who of necessity work, each seeing the greener grass on the other side; to orphans or children from broken homes; to those whose goals or dreams have not panned out; to individuals dealing with deaths of loved ones or trying to survive through poor health (physical or mental); to parents struggling with raising children; to all who understand the pain of not receiving that righteous desire of our hearts that we have fasted and pleaded for. The list could go on and on.

Each and every one of us could look at our lives and feel, "If only ______, I could better serve the Lord and His children. I could become all I was meant to be."

But we will find greater "happiness and peace and rest"[iii] when we learn that Heavenly Father gives (or allows) each of us a customized plan-within-the-Plan for struggling, serving, progressing, and returning to Him. All things will be made right eventually (perhaps not the same, but right)—one Apostle referred to this as the "law of compensation."[iv] By following God’s plan of happiness for all of His children, and then by following His plan for me, I will best serve the Lord and become all I was meant to be.

Trust Questions for Personal Analysis

Do I trust that my path, as I do my best to walk and improve upon it as He directs, is not only acceptable to God, but that it is the best path for me? That it is exactly what is intended for me?

Do I trust that I need to experience and learn and serve in ways that are unique and custom-fit to me as an individual? As a woman? As a stay-at-home mother of almost three, a wife, teacher, actor, daughter, musician?

When I am being completely honest with myself, do I trust God's plan for His children, His separate but complementing plans for His sons and daughters, His difficult but ever-upward-climbing plan for my life?

Am I “content with the things which the Lord hath alloted unto me”?[v] Do I see those allotments as how I'm being held back, or as how I'm being held up to do and be greater?

Is my prayer, "Lord, who do You need me to be? Where? How?"[vi] Or do I more consistently pray that He will help me find success in the ways I currently want or see fit? Do I lean upon my own understanding, desires, and assumptions when it comes to where and how I can do the most good?[vii]

Women, the Priesthood, and God’s Plan

I think it is indisputable by both genders alike that women could (and would) do great amounts of good if we had priesthood opportunities and keys. Undoubtedly. But we are learning through modern revelation that (1) this isn't what God has planned for the bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of His children[viii], (2) it isn't what He needs or how He desires help from His daughters, (3) it is not what we need from Him.

Women have our own ways of serving and blessing the kingdom that are just as necessary and powerful as men. Not the same, but equal. Complementary.

His plan for us (both collective and individual), if followed, is better for us as individuals and for the kingdom of God as a whole. Through His plan, we can be and do and become not just better, not just enough, but more than we can begin to comprehend. Do I trust that? Do I trust it enough to accept, embrace, and act upon it with all my heart, might, mind, and strength?[ix]

My Testimony

As Nephi says, “I know in whom I have trusted.”[x] And I pray I always will, especially when Satan sends mighty winds, hail and shafts in the whirlwind[xi] to beat upon my life, my confidence, and testimony. My Heavenly Father has never failed me or let me down. Not once.

Proverbs 3 encourages us to trust God more than our own frail, limited understandings, and that if we do He will be able to direct us.[xii] Few commands in scriptures are given more than the one to ask God when we desire answers or help (James 1:4-5, for example)--He won't get angry, but He might not give us the answer we desired. I don't know why, but the natural reaction in most of us is to therefore trust ourselves. But what is my knowledge compared to God's wisdom?[xiii] How often have I failed myself over the years? Why do I continue to persist in relying more upon myself than on the One who is omnipotent and omniscient?

President Ezra Taft Benson promised that as we turn our lives over to God, He will make a lot more out of our lives than we can.[xiv] I personally know this is true because I have experienced it firsthand every time I have exercised more faith and confidence in Him than in myself.  

"O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever"![xv]

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[i] see the following Conference addresses: Elder Dallin H. Oaks (April 2014), Elder Neil L. Andersen (October 2013), Sister Carole M. Stephens (October 2013), Elder M. Russell Ballard (April 2013).

[ii]  Marvin J. Ashton, Fireside, BYU, 5 March 1989; see also McKay, “Character,” True to the Faith, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966, p. 274

[iii] (Abr.1:2)

[iv] Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Come What May, and Love It,” Conference Address, October 2008

[v] Alma 29:3, see also Philippians 4:11

[vi] Hymn #270—"I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine. . . . I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, over mountain or plain or sea. I'll say what you want me to say, dear Lord, I'll be what you want me to be."

[vii] See Proverbs 3:3-5

[viii] Moses 1:39

[ix] Doctrine and Covenants 4:2

[x] 2 Nephi 4:19

[xi] Helaman 5:12

[xii] See Proverbs 3:3-5

[xiii] Isaiah 55:8-9

[xiv] See Ensign, December 1988

[xv] 2 Nephi 4:34