Hello, my name is Chelsea Frandsen...

...and I live for food.

I hate exercising (especially running).

And I'm a weight loser. (80 lbs since March 2009, and still counting!)

A weight loser who has, as of late, felt highly misunderstood.

I have lost a lot of weight, and I've become quite sensitive to the reactions I get from people. I guess deep down I really want to help others feel that there is hope--I want my story to be motivating. Instead, I've heard these types of responses: "You're just lucky." "It was easy for you." "You don't understand how it is to be overweight." "You don't know what I'm going through or how hard it is to lose weight." "I'll never be able to do what you did."

It's funny, because I've thought and said these very words myself in the past. For me, it was always easier to feel that somehow the person who lost weight was somehow more blessed than me, or luckier, because that took the pressure off of me to change my life. There were times that my overweight friends would lose weight, and in some ways it felt like a personal affront of some kind--as if we couldn't be friends anymore because we weren't the same anymore. I found comfort in knowing that if someone else would be willing to eat a piece of cheesecake along side me, that somehow we could "share" the calories and the guilt. I tried all kinds of things to lose weight, and it never really worked, so I stopped trying. I started to feel that "I am the way I am, and I can't ever change that." Looking back, I can see that I was following Satan's plan.

To all of you who feel like I don't understand where you are or how you feel, let me just say that I do. I've been overweight since I was in sixth grade, and one month ago was the first time in sixteen years that I could say I was an average, healthy weight. I know the feelings of depression, hurt, embarrassment, shame, awkwardness, frustration, hopelessness, and the pain of knowing I was letting my body control my life. I don't think I'll ever forget those things (though I hope the memories fade a little with time!).

So, here's what I'm going to throw out there, with the hopes that someone, somewhere will feel like I do when I watch The Biggest Loser: "If she can do it, I can do it!" I want others to feel empowered through my success, not threatened or judgmental because of it.

People ask me how I've done it, and I could list the eighty things I've changed in my life to lose the eighty pounds I've lost. But in reality, most of those things came one step at a time and were fitted to my exact weaknesses and needs. Here are the boiled-down essentials that I think are critical for the average person who is trying to lose weight, whether it be five pounds or fifty:

1. You have to want it. I'm not talking wanting like we want a new pair of shoes (which I often do--I always tell Jake that shoes have been the one thing I never had to worry would change in size). If we want to change our lives, our desire has to match that goal. For me, it was realizing that I didn't want any of my friends or family to see me anymore, and seeing that my weight was inhibiting my ability to be the kind of mom I wanted to be. I'd tried to lose weight for over a decade with no success, but as soon as I hit rock bottom and was truly willing to do anything it took, with no reservations, the pounds started to come off. What motivates you? Work to figure that out. Think about it. Pray about it. You'll find it.
2. You can't do it alone. Well, maybe some people can, but it's definitely harder. There is great power in accountability, like standing on a scale in front of other people, or sharing your success (or failure) on a blog, or knowing your friend will be waiting there on the corner at 6:30am to walk with you. For me, having a spouse that was never judgmental but always supportive was one of the key elements to my success. Find that support wherever you need to--family, friends, support groups. Trust me, there will be plenty of people out there who are in the same boat as you, and many of them will want to share in your success.
3. Self-control is critical. I know what you're thinking. This is often the place where people put up the barrier after asking me about my weight loss, probably because it is the hardest part. No one wants to hear about self-control. But if your motivation is high enough, your self-control will raise.  I think this was one of the elements I always failed at in the past, but it is also the element has done some of the greatest good in my recent success--instead of thinking, "I don't want to do this," or "I can't do this," I was thinking, "I have to do this." It was the only option. The greatest asset for me here was success. Once I realized that giving up snacks and seconds was actually paying off, it was easier to control those appetites. Funny how that works. :)
4. Make it about a life change, and not a weight change. This time around I did it right--I knew I was going to need to make changes that were going to stick. It wasn't going to be a quick fix; I needed to change my mentality about food and exercise (and it was a slow process, but well worth it!). For some, perhaps this isn't quite as necessary because only a few pounds need to be lost. But if I didn't change my life, I knew that there were major health problems that would be coming my way. No matter how much a person has to lose, though, I'm a huge proponent of finding the root of the problem instead of cutting away at the branches. Fix the problem. Get healthy. Be willing to replace old habits with better ones. I've never heard of a quick fix for anything that lasted as long as attacking at the roots.
5. Make this change a part of your life. Yes, it is a life change, but it is still your life. If you can't drop sugar altogether, give yourself one treat a day, or one meal a week, or one day a month where you can splurge (here's where self-control comes in!). As far as exercise, well, we are busy people as a whole, and we don't always have time to run marathons (kudos to those of you who do!). Play with your kids. Walk to a visiting teaching appointment. Park at the back of the parking lot at the grocery store. Take the stairs. Mow your lawn. Pull weeds. Wash your car. Vacuum. Walk or run in place while you watch a movie. Hike. Bike. Be creative! Your exercise doesn't have to be what anyone else's is, and your lifestyle change will have a great impact on your family.
6. The Atonement of Jesus Christ doesn't just cover our sins. In Alma 7 we learn that it covers our pains and sicknesses (and I believe that this includes unhealthy,overweight, and obese bodies), and our "temptations of every kind" (including my midnight chocolate or pizza cravings, and desires to relax instead of working out). Even our infirmities, or weaknesses, are covered by the Atonement (which means the Savior understands my lack of self-control, my self-doubt, my fears, my discouragement). He experienced all of these things for me in Gethsemane, and why? "That he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people." (v. 12.) As I have said many times before, the word succor means, "to run to." On those days where I was ready to give in, or even give up, I could rely on a personal Savior who understands my personal needs perfectly. He knows how I feel, and He knows how to fix it--in fact, He will come running to my side to do so! Now that is power! That is strength! That is motivation! I have felt this many times, and I can give a personal witness to its reality and truth. Yes, Heavenly Father does care if we are healthy, and He cares if we are confident within ourselves, because these two things can affect our ability to fulfill the missions we were sent here to perform.

Here are inspired words from a living Apostle of the Lord, Elder Robert D. Hales (Conference Address, April 2009). It was hearing these very words as he spoke them in General Conference that gave me the courage to begin to change my life (emphasis added):

      "Today I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past. I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt and addictions to food, drugs, pornography, and other patterns of thought and action that diminish one’s sense of self-worth. All of these excesses affect us individually and undermine our family relationships. Of course some debt incurred for education, a modest home, or a basic automobile may be necessary to provide for a family. Unfortunately however, additional debt is incurred when we cannot control our wants and addictive impulses. And for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same—we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants. I pray that in the next few minutes, and throughout this conference, you will be filled with hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ, and find hope in the doctrines of His restored gospel.

     "Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Cor. 10:13).

     "We must remember that the adversary knows us extremely well. He knows where, when, and how to tempt us. If we are obedient to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we can learn to recognize the adversary’s enticements. Before we yield to temptation, we must learn to say with unflinching resolve, “Get thee behind me, Satan” (Matthew 16:23).

      "Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ."

I've put this to the test--even commanding Satan to depart when he was tempting me to eat extra pancakes at breakfast. It's amazing how well it has worked!

So, there you have it. All the rest are frivolous details of how I put this plan into action in my own life. If you feel inspired, please share this with those you love who feel like they are the unlucky, the unblessed, who will never be able to change. You can! How can you fail when you have the guidance and support of Deity?!  I hope that the work I've put in to lose weight will go far beyond my smaller dress size. I pray that someone, somewhere, will feel, "Hey, if she can do it, I can, too!" And I'd love to hear your responses and your stories.

Will it be difficult? Of course. Worth it? Most definitely! Was anything worthwhile ever easy? The freedom you will feel as you gain control of your life will be worth every tear, every drop of sweat, every moment of difficulty.

"Shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory!" (D&C 128:22)